Saturday, November 17, 2018

I'm sorry, but I'm at my lowest.

Assalamualaikum.
I've never been this down before but I guess I understand now that feeling of feeling down as if everything's falling apart and there's no hope to climb back to where I am before. and that feeling when you have nobody to share your feels about. I feel so alone that I cry myself to sleep. like always, I'm used to this now. I don't know but I just keep blaming myself for everything that happens. I'm so sad to the point that I don't even want to see anyone anymore. I smile on the outside, but you heard it, someone who is always happy on the outside is someone who hide their never-ending tears inside. They kept asking me, why I distance myself from them. Little did they know, I want to limit my circle of friends. Yes, they say widen your network while you're in college. but no, I feel like I want to get rid of all the toxic people in my life. I never knew life would be this hard. Having to take care of other's people feelings while mine is broken enough to the point that I don't feel anything at all. It's like, no, idgaf about yalls anymore. hey, you don't have to take this post seriously. I'm a mess now so I don't even know what I'm actually saying. till next time, hopefully (':

Thursday, August 16, 2018

eh dah degree ke?

YAY gold balloons - perfect for a bridal shower or bachelorette party!

Hi. ni bebetul short updates about my life haha poyo gila. I'm trying to catch up dgn kehidupan aku sekarang sbb rasa cam asal kebelakang sgt aku ni? haha takdelah gurau je. aku sendu je tgk post kat blog ni setahun boleh kira berapa kali je aku update :( kesian anak aku nnti. camne dorang nak baca pasal life aku?! ceyy haha takdela ni pun gurau.

tinggal few weeks left before masuk u balik sambung degree. haha at least cuti aku function la jugak kan sebab keje klinik lagi. but this time keje klinik is sooo tak best cam dulu. just because of that one person. tulah aku cam baru faham la hikmah ayat habbluminallah wa habluminannas tu. sebab ish takbest gila bila cam sebab kau je, aku rasa taknak datang keje ha sampai camtu sekali tau. tu one of sole reason la kenapa aku benti awal senanya haha kalau ikutkan aku ok je nak keje smpai hujung bulan tp sebab aku tanak hadap stress bekerja dah. weh taktipu jerawat aku naik banyak wei sebab stressss :'(((

ok lah aku memang dah banyak merungut pun sejak dua menjak ni. ish taksuka ah. takcool betul. aku lagi suka aku yg dulu which is lantak ah org nak cakap apa asalkan aku buat kerja aku haha. btw haritu aku ada salah guna product jugak kat muka which is antara sebab la muka aku breakout teruk. doakan la aku dpt skin yg cam dulu balik weii. sumpah insecure do dgn org sbb muka banyak acne scars sobs.

the good thing is, aku dpt course sc comp weh degreeee haha. bye bye dentist. bye actuary and financial maths (': aku doa mintak dpt yg terbaik. so aku kena yakin la dgn Allah ni yg terbaik hehe. positive gila kan? haih I miss the old me. ok gtg bye till next time hiks.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

done tamhidi (':

Assalamualaikum.

hai sume apa kabar hehe sis dah habis tamhidi genk. sis iz so excited sbb cam pejam celik pejam celik je dah habis en tamhidi. ya betulla lecturer kata sekejap je senanya setahun tu huhu

tapi untuk second sem ni mmg aku letak pengharapan 100 percent kat Allah jela untuk pointer. yela aku ni kan cam sejenis yg confident time exam. rasa cam betul je en sekali dapat result, hm hampa. tapi sokay kita tengok bulan 5 nnti okay keluar result huhu

tapi aku cam bersyukur la sejak dah habis tamhidi ni en ramai pulak membe yg supportive pasal aku dgn crush aku tu lolll hahahaha weii aku bukan apa. aku memain jeee means crush takserious pun tapiii haih dorang lak yg overrrrr. pastu dia pun perasan la apa lagi en allahuuuuu guling guling aku atas katil semalam sebab bende niiiii. agagagga dia boleh cakap, kau mesti tgh gelabah en skang. HAAHAHAHA gila tak gelabahhh?! fuhh ok sabar genk. takchill betul hahaha

ok nasib baik dah habis tamhidi huhu skang ni cam tetiba berbelah bahagi lak nak sambung dentist ni allahu. sebab iv dia and if dapat 5 tahun akan datang nak hadap bende tu en. kuat ke aku doo. fuhh aku dah baca sikit pasal iv dentist tu en cam ok je. sbb cam ala takat buat gigi guna plasticine en alaa aku pernah buat impression gigi orang bebetul kott huhu tapi fikir next steps in dentist tu la yg cam haih tahla. moga Allah tunjuk la jalan yg patut aku ambik huhu baru cam boleh yakin sikit en.

ok lah so in conclusion for tamhidi, thanks for everyone that have support me on my lowest. I really appreciate you guys. takdapat nak cakap thanks and ily kat sorang sorang tp tulah sayang korangg!! doakan aku tak banyak buang masa genk cuti ni huhu 4 bulan seyhh and also doakan sis dpt iv dentist and ya till next time, jumpa kat degree pulak! inshaallah.

Moga Allah redha. babaiiii


you can take everyone else from me but obviously not them (':